Stop the Ride, I Want to Get Off

I am at my wit's end.  I've been involved in a seemingly never ending battle between the forces of food and physicality (ie trainers v. nutritionists).  All these conflicting viewpoints from nutritionists, so-called experts, talking heads, gym trainers, magazines, books, etc. telling me that I need to eat X amount of calories in a day, 100 g of protein a day-yikes-, 5 meals a day, three moderate meals a day, cardio with strength training, cardio before strength training, cardio after strength training, alternate cardio with strength training, 4 times a week, 5 times a week, 6 times a week at the gym, more veggies with less protein, veggies first before protein, protein powder is the key to success, protein powder is essentially the devil, work out in the morning, work out in the evening, don't eat after 7, stop eating 3 hours before bed, get 7 hours of sleep, the more sleep the better, weigh yourself once a week, weigh yourself once a month, don't weigh yourself but instead go by the fit of your clothes, take a multivitamin, don't take a multivitamin cause you should get nutrition from foods, go ahead and have a cheat day, change your lifestyle so you don't need cheat days, jog on the treadmill, don't use the treadmill because it's torture on your joints, zone 2, zone 3, zone 4..I'm drowning in health information & my head's about to explode.

I don't want to be a runway model (I'm perfectly grounded in reality); I just want to be healthy.  My mom, the most unassuming, nonconforming to the normal type who falls victim to these types of diseases, was diagnosed with type2 diabetes in 2005 and breast cancer in 2008 & ever since then, I've been trying to change my lifestyle so that I don't follow her down the same path.  I watched watch someone who I never thought I was that close to struggle to keep her life from slipping through her fingers, and I've come to realize that there are more important things than being fashionable and rail thin.  The business of being healthy is enough to make an average person keel over from a stress induced stroke though.  All the conflicting viewpoints and misinformation has created a smoke and mirrors environment that not even Scooby Doo would be able to decipher.  I'm tired of all the one size fits all answers that I get from personal trainers & I'm tired of feeling like I'm failing at every turn.  I simply want to live the best life that I can.  Is that really too much to ask?